I dislike male “identity” and I support people doing whatever they want to do. I only use masculine as a description, not prescription. I believe there are evolutionary, biological differences in genders but not in absolute terms, more as in general terms (men tend to be taller than women on average).
One thing I dislike about identity is that everyone wants to take up the reigns of identifying it. Being raised by me, my son would feel no hesitation or shame in being gay or liking traditional feminine things … however, one of the issues I am incredibly irritated by in our society is the increasing trend to shit on preferences that do fit within traditionally considered gender roles. My son won’t feel any shame in liking sports, and many other aspects like that.
People are projecting their identity preferences in this realm. People who find traditional masculinity stupid, threatening or whatever are brazenly trying to fight it and act like their promotion of femininity in men is promoting freedom or open mindedness. It’s not. It is merely adding different cultural pressures.
One thing I love that John Holt advocated was having a certain type of indifference towards people. I want to teach my kids about the world, and I want to have a close relationship with them. I want to teach them how our society works, and the subtle rules that exist. However, I don’t largely care what choices they make. I am fine with my kids being gay, taking on whatever (non-governmental) professions, or whatever. I don’t promote anything.
Most parents who are acting like they are happy with anything are really just trying to push counter narratives. I remember seeing some of my wife’s friends share a video of a guy celebrating that his sons picked out girls toys from the store. This is promoting counter narratives and identities and it is just as bad as promoting traditional gender roles. However, this guy and all of my wife’s friends felt so liberal and good about that sort of lame shit.