You’re Building the Relationship Now

Writes Kicking it Unschool:

My big two year old boy, he sure wants to be self sufficient. He wants nothing to do with me during the day. He can scoot chairs to the counters and cabinets to get what he needs, he can open the refrigerator, he will try his darndest to do it all on his own. He WILL walk on his own, everywhere. I must be out of my mind trying to help him put a shirt on, and he makes sure to remind me of how big and capable he is every time.

Until he isn’t, and he needs me. Right then.

Growing up and being independent is all fine and well, but its always nice to know someone is still there for you. That someone will always be there for you when you need a place to be vulnerable. It can be frustrating at times, being that place for someone, but I want to remember what an honor it is for him to place so much trust in me. I hope to always be a safe place for both the boys when they need me. When they’re two… eight… sixteen… twenty-three… thirty….

The relationship you’ll have with your children when they are teenagers and adults, you’re building it right now. Today. Tonight. This moment. Don’t be their safe place now and they’ll likely turn to someone/something else next time.

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Written by 

Founder and editor of and, Skyler is a husband and unschooling father of three beautiful children. His writings include the column series “One Voluntaryist’s Perspective” and “One Improved Unit,” and blog series “Two Cents“. Skyler also wrote the books No Hitting! and Toward a Free Society, and edited the books Everything Voluntary and Unschooling Dads. You can hear Skyler chatting away on his podcasts, Everything Voluntary and Thinking & Doing.