Nobody asked but …
Who will keep you safe? Every politician now running for office claims, pretends to guarantee, that he/she will. I got some election flyers in my mailbox last week. Half of the requests told me that the opposition was involved in pedophilia. All I had to do was align myself with a spotless citizen whom was gracious enough to warn me of the alleged perversion. When I and my contemporaries pick the right horse, we will be safe from this outrage.
In a more general sense, many of the rest promised only to keep me safe from all evil — Senator Jack S. Phogbound will keep [your state] safe from [your favorite terror].
Can you believe it? Do so at your own risk. Actually, there is no risk that any politician will protect you from any horror. He/she will not. If you are dependent on a politician to provide you with an omnipotent safety blanket, go fish.
— Kilgore Forelle