Don’t Be Passive Aggressive

Ask for what you want.

Don’t ask by implication.

I had a recent experience that’s pretty common.  Someone asked for something, I told them the conditions under which it could be delivered (which were, as most conditions, just my made-up best guesstimate of what made sense).  They replied, “Oh, that’s disappointing.  I thought it would be different.”

I almost flipped my shit.  It rubbed me the wrong way on the wrong day.

What’s the point of replying to my proposal with your emotional state?  What’s the point of telling me it’s not what you expected or wanted?  Why not just tell me what you do want?  Why not make a counter-proposal?  Why not just say, “That’s a little more onerous than I’m ready to accept.  Would you consider this instead?”

Don’t make other people interpret and navigate your emotional state and intuit solutions.  Say what you want.  Offer your own solutions.

Save as PDFPrint

Written by 

Isaac Morehouse is the founder and CEO of Praxis, an awesome startup apprenticeship program. He is dedicated to the relentless pursuit of freedom. He’s written some books, done some podcasting, and is always experimenting with self-directed living and learning. When he’s not with his wife and kids or building his company, he can be found smoking cigars, playing guitars, singing, reading, writing, getting angry watching sports teams from his home state of Michigan, or enjoying the beach.

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments