The lure of domination lurks wherever we hold the keys. And there isn’t much self-actualization going on in a relationship between unequals. If you really want to see someone come alive and become more “themself” – in other words, if you want to love them – you’re going to have to give up the keys. You have to surrender your power.
Tag: praise
Networking – It’s Not Just About the New People
Your connections are your customers. So if you have a LinkedIn account stocked with a couple of hundred current connections, maybe now’s the time to spend less time on growing your network and more time on nurturing the connections you have. Networks aren’t just about breadth – they’re also about depth.
Growth Over Glory
When giving a lecture before an audience of ethnobotany/entheogen enthusiasts, Terence Mckenna offered the following advice to those who dared to venture along the psychedelic path: “refuse to be paralyzed by astonishment.”
Helplessness Is Not a Virtue, Either
It still strikes me as odd when I see people expressing pride in the fact that they are not armed. As if that’s a virtue, or a sign of moral superiority. They’re basically saying, “I’m just so noble and awesome, because if armed thugs attack me or my family, I can’t do a damn thing about it!”
All Acquaintances Are Not Allies
A true friend is more than someone who loves to hang out with you. A true friend is someone who will encourage you to pursue your goals and handle your responsibilities even if that cuts into some of your hangout sessions together.
Potential is Not Enough
The more potential you have, the greater the demands you need to place on yourself. It’s not enough to feel flattered by your theoretical ability to do creative work. Potential is there to be actualized.
You Don’t Have to Talk About Everything
If your tendency is to bottle everything up inside and struggle with shame, this post isn’t for you. Find someone you trust and get it out. But if you find yourself immediately looking for a place to share every trial and triumph, learn to process first.
Intrinsic Motivation vs. Extrinsic Motivation
Maybe this isn’t a problem for you. Maybe you are perfectly willing to reward your child for good behavior until they move out, but for the rest of us, we want our children to want to be kind, to want to share, to want to help out around the house, to want to learn.
“Faith” Is Your Attitude Toward Reality
The faith that actually matters is how you are predisposed to judge reality and to act. If you cultivate that, it will prepare you to act almost automatically for the good – particularly in crises, when it’s especially important that s
The Destructive Habit of Evaluating Everything We Do
We are in the mental habit of constantly evaluating everything we do, to see if we’re worthy or not. This mental habit of evaluating everything — while completely normal and natural — is actually pretty destructive. Why?