How do we deal with a two-year-old when he grabs every toy his friend plays with? What do we say to a four-year-old who screams in rage when her baby brother cries? How do we talk with a ten-year-old about the chores he has left undone, again? What strategies will keep our teenager open with us – and safe? Nonviolent Communication (NVC), sometimes referred to as Compassionate Communication, offers a powerful approach for extending the values of attachment parenting beyond infancy. A process for connecting deeply with ourselves and others, and for creating social change, NVC has been used worldwide in intimate family settings as well as in organizations, schools, prisons, and war-torn countries.
Tag: compassion
Approaching Life with Beginner’s Mind
What is beginner’s mind? It’s dropping our expectations and preconceived ideas about something, and seeing things with an open mind, fresh eyes, just like a beginner. If you’ve ever learned something new, you can remember what that’s like: you’re probably confused, because you don’t know how to do whatever you’re learning, but you’re also looking at everything as if it’s brand new, perhaps with curiosity and wonder. That’s beginner’s mind.
Finding Stillness
I’ve heard from many people who say, “I think too much,” or “I can’t get out of my own head.” This is pretty common. Thinking isn’t the problem, but the struggle comes when we’re constantly spinning stories in our heads and getting caught up in them. Our minds jump from one thing to another, seeking distraction or avoiding difficulty. We can’t focus, we can’t be present in the moment, and we feel the need to be constantly busy.
The Relational Anarchist Primer
According to relational anarchists, the better humans connect with each other, the more peace and understanding that will exist between them. The greater the strength of the relationships, the less likely rulers will become necessary or begin to emerge. Anarchism means “without rulers.” And besides being a political assertion, this is a psychological and relational preference. It is apolitical, based on preferred relationship standards. Instead of dispensing violence, these anarchists dispense compassion.
How to Cultivate a Year of Mindfulness
In 2016, I practiced mindfulness more than I ever have before, after 10 years of sporadic practice. I meditated regularly, practiced with a local Zen group, did a great one-day sitting, went on a retreat, took courses, read books, practiced mindful eating and exercise, learned some great new practices, and taught several mindfulness courses. I learned a lot about how to cultivate a more mindful life, and I’d like to encourage you to try it this year. Why? A few good reasons.
Geography Does Not Modify Justice
Can you imagine the devastation it would cause if South Korea “built a wall,” posting armed guards along the border to keep North Koreans where they are? Can you imagine the travesty this would be to an oppressed people looking for hope? Looking for a future without constant misery? Can you imagine how horrible it would feel for Korean refugees—rather than being welcomed with open arms and congratulated for escaping oppression—to be shunned and labeled as “illegal immigrants”?
Voluntaryism is the Love for Humanity
As a Voluntaryist my love and compassion extends to the totality of the human race. I make no preference or distinction towards any one group of people. We do not have women’s problems, black problems, rich problems, poor problems, Islamic problems, Christian problems, Hispanic problems, Mexican problems, Korean problems, or Russian problems. We have human problems because we are all human beings! Recognize your common heritage with your fellow human being. This is the source of true prosperity and peace.
Happy New Year 2017 Things I Wanna Spread
A new year is upon us. Many people wait until January to reform their lives. To many people, the arrival of the new year is the catalyst for change and improvement. Why wait for a socially acceptable time for taking steps towards the betterment of yourself?
Mindfully Free of Wanting People to Be a Certain Way
One of the biggest sources of difficulties for every single human being is the desire for people to be a certain way. We can’t seem to help it: we want the world to be the way we want it. Unfortunately, reality always has different plans, and people behave in less-than-ideal ways. The problem isn’t other people. It’s our ideals.
The Season of Giving and the Economic System that Fosters Great Generosity
Christmas will soon be here, and preparations for this holiday are proceeding apace. People are buying gifts for family members and friends and making preparations for great feasts at which family, friends, and other loved ones will gather to share the joy and love of the occasion.