Guest post by Robin Grille. One of the most commonly heard parental laments is about how children try to get attention. So many behaviors that adults don’t like are brushed off as “merely” attention-seeking devices. “Don’t worry about him,” we say, “he is just doing it to get attention.” When children use oblique ways to…
Category: Peaceful Parenting
Children Don’t Really Misbehave
Guest post by Thomas Gordon. Most parents and teachers think of children as either “behaving” or “misbehaving”. This labeling of behavior as “good” and “bad” begins when the child is quite young. In our training programs we try to help parents see that children don’t really misbehave. Interestingly enough, the term is almost exclusively applied…
The Best Way
Guest post by Kerri Dame. I was inspired to create this blog post following a conversation with some of my lovely, intelligent, compassionate girlfriends the other day, wherein I was surprised that they all seemed to truly believe that physical punishment (spanking) is a necessary part of parenting. Because each child is different, sometimes they…
The Farce of “Inherent Evil”
Guest post by James C. Talbot. There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind that one of the more egregious excuses for the practice of spanking lies in a belief that holds children liable for being born into this world with evil and sin in their hearts. Apparently, there are associated behaviors in children that…
Understanding and Empathy
Guest post by Larry Cohen. When our children have been “bad,” it’s hard for us to remember that they need comfort rather than punishment. After all, when you have made a mistake, would you rather get understanding or criticism? The best way to cultivate empathy is to focus on children’s underlying needs and feelings, instead…
A Human Becoming
Guest post by Scott Noelle. In a product-oriented culture, there’s a tendency to “productize” and “package” people. We often forget that a human being is a living process — a “human becoming.”Children are especially dynamic — often visibly different from one day to the next — and no two children develop precisely the same way.…
Parenting Beyond Boundaries
Guest post by Dawn. To a Christian radical unschooler, our bottom line is that our children, regardless of their age, size, gender, birth order, giftings, issues, etc, are our fellow human beings and should be treated with the exact same dignity, respect, and consideration as any of the other seven billion people on this planet.…
Might is Spite
Guest post by Ted Olson. I saw a mom pull a 3-year-old out of a shopping carriage by her tiny little biceps. As the toddler hung there, feet dangling, her mom murmured with rage and hatred, “If you ever do that again, you’re going to get it.” Mom plopped a teary-eyed child back into the…
What I Learned in the Men’s Room
Guest post by Ted Olson. “Daddy, listen!” A common plea from my son, Thomas. I’m often lost in thought or working on a post, or trying to dictate a command. Getting my full attention can be difficult. Listening, really listening, is not easy. Yet, deep listening makes all the difference in a relationship. What does…
Do You Shame Your Child?
Guest post by Laura Markham. “Children learn to regulate their behaviors by developing an emotional ‘clutch,’ located in the prefrontal cortex, that can turn the accelerator off when the brakes are applied and redirect their interest in more acceptable directions….An activated accelerator followed by the application of brakes leads to a nervous system response with…