The Family’s Drug Smuggler

Almost 30 years ago my extended family went to the southern tip of Texas for Christmas. One day during that week or so, we crossed into Mexico for a day of exploring and shopping in a little town.

I still have a couple of cheap Mexican pots I bought in a sparsely stocked store, and the empty bottle from the Mexican vanilla I bought.

I enjoyed the food, the sights, and even the strange semi-outdoor flushing outhouse with moss growing between the bricks on the floor, beautifully lit by sunlight shining through the holes in the roof. I would build one of those in my yard if I could build things.

I loved seeing the chickens roaming the street and the vendors trying to talk travelers into buying the hammocks they were selling. I had a great time.

While there, an adult female relative visited a pharmacy and stocked up on some medicine she needed which required a prescription in the Land of the Free and was consequently much more affordable there. I would have done the same.

At the end of the day, as we crossed through the police gate between tax farms, armed U.S. goons stopped us to look us over to see if we looked American enough and to question us. One of the few questions they asked was whether any of us had “any drugs or medications” we were bringing back with us. This female relative looked them in the eyes and said “No”.

After we were graciously allowed to resume our journey back to our vacation rental in America, and were safely away from the goons, I said: “You lied to them.

She didn’t understand, because she would never lie, and certainly not to officers of The Law. I said they asked whether we were bringing any drugs or medications back in and that she had said “no”. She said it wasn’t a lie; we didn’t have any illegal drugs. I said that’s not what they asked. (And technically, they probably would have disagreed with her anyway.)

Worse, yet, I approved of her lying to them. You don’t owe molesters the truth.

She never admitted she lied to them, and still fully supports the stupid and evil War on Politically Incorrect Drugs, and the prescription scam that goes along with it. But I know. And it makes me smile to remember it and to know she’s a once-upon-a-time drug smuggler.

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