Honesty, Anger and Parenting
Editor’s Pick. Written by Laura Markham.
We need to be honest about our own feelings — with ourselves! We need to notice our emotions as they come up, take responsibility for them, and work through them. Because the truth is that every parent sometimes feels rage toward his or her child. Stuffing those feelings doesn’t help anyone.
But that does NOT mean we need to “dump” our upsets on our child in the name of being honest. That’s not acting like a grown-up, and it’s not coaching our child to be his or her best self, either. In fact, when kids follow that modeling, it looks like tantrums. So unless there’s immediate danger — in which case you need to remove a child from harm’s way — I recommend that parents try to avoid relating to their children when they’re angry.
Does that mean we aren’t being honest, truthful and authentic? I don’t think so. Let’s take this a step at a time.