One of the major turning points in our parenting journey was learning to see outbursts and negative behavior from the boys as signals their needs were not being met.
There is no such things as negative behavior happening “for no reason”. There is always a reason. We just need to figure out what the reason is.
Before, if Josh had snapped at me or been hostile I would have reacted with anger or frustration. Now I am learning to ask questions instead. What is going on? How are you feeling? What is making you feel that way? You seem frustrated, would you like to talk about it?
Connecting, empathizing, stopping the judgment and nurturing our relationship have been the most positive changes we’ve made so far.