Outbursts and Negative Behavior

Writes Kicking it Unschool:

One of the major turning points in our parenting journey was learning to see outbursts and negative behavior from the boys as signals their needs were not being met.

There is no such things as negative behavior happening “for no reason”. There is always a reason. We just need to figure out what the reason is.

Before, if Josh had snapped at me or been hostile I would have reacted with anger or frustration. Now I am learning to ask questions instead. What is going on? How are you feeling? What is making you feel that way? You seem frustrated, would you like to talk about it?

Connecting, empathizing, stopping the judgment and nurturing our relationship have been the most positive changes we’ve made so far.

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Skyler J. Collins (Editor)

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Founder and editor of Everything-Voluntary.com, Skyler is a husband and unschooling father of three beautiful children. His writings include the column series “One Voluntaryist’s Perspective” and “One Improved Unit,” and blog series “Two Cents” and “Items of Note.” Skyler also wrote the books No Hitting! and Toward a Free Society, and edited the books Everything Voluntary and Unschooling Dads. You can hear Skyler chatting away on the official Everything-Voluntary.com podcast.

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