What do I mean by #NotMe?
I mean that I am neither a victim nor a victimizer.
Have I been victimized? Of course. Sometimes, badly. But I moved on. I don’t dwell on it, and I absolutely refuse to get any part of my identity from it. To want to revel in past victimization is a serious weakness of character, if you ask me! It looks to me as though you are saying you are too weak to stand up and keep walking. That you can’t stop reaching back to touch the terrible events in your past.
Even though I have been victimized in the past, I am not a victim.
Even though I have had broken bones, I am not broken.
I’ve had Rat Bite Fever, but I’m not sick.
I have scars, but I am not injured.
I’ve cried tears of emotional agony, but I’m not sad.
If you are being victimized now, you have an absolute human right to defend yourself with whatever amount of force it takes to stop the violator. You have every right to expose your victimizers and to refuse to associate with them ever again. They owe you restitution.
But to become an eternally broken victim just for the purpose of being a victim? That’s just sad– you have decided to violate yourself perpetually just because someone else violated you in the past. It’s like you have decided to stay bogged in the mud, just because some archator once shoved you into a mud pit.
And, if I victimize you, shoot me. Do whatever it takes to stop me. It is your right. I’ll probably fight back, but everyone has the right to do so, even the most vile monster. It’s part of being alive.
Your past makes you what you are. You can decide to stagnate there, or to let that past make you better and stronger. Yes, it is YOUR decision. I want you to make the choice that builds you up, rather than the popular choice that holds you down.
If you don’t feel you can do this, for whatever reason, I feel sorry for you.