You are here

Wanting Someone Else to Fulfill Our Lives

I have a friend who is lonely, who has such a good heart and desperately wants to find a partner who appreciates that goodness, to share a life with. We have all felt this, I’m guessing: this desire for a deep connection, this hope that another person will just get us and want an intimate relationship with us, the idea that if we could just find this person and merge with them, we’d be fulfilled. What if we tossed that idea out on its head? What if everything we need for happiness and fulfillment is within us? Read the full thing

Approaching Life with Beginner’s Mind

What is beginner’s mind? It’s dropping our expectations and preconceived ideas about something, and seeing things with an open mind, fresh eyes, just like a beginner. If you’ve ever learned something new, you can remember what that’s like: you’re probably confused, because you don’t know how to do whatever you’re learning, but you’re also looking at everything as if it’s brand new, perhaps with curiosity and wonder. That’s beginner’s mind. Read the full thing

Finding Stillness

I’ve heard from many people who say, “I think too much,” or “I can’t get out of my own head.” This is pretty common. Thinking isn’t the problem, but the struggle comes when we’re constantly spinning stories in our heads and getting caught up in them. Our minds jump from one thing to another, seeking distraction or avoiding difficulty. We can’t focus, we can’t be present in the moment, and we feel the need to be constantly busy. Read the full thing

How to Cultivate a Year of Mindfulness

In 2016, I practiced mindfulness more than I ever have before, after 10 years of sporadic practice. I meditated regularly, practiced with a local Zen group, did a great one-day sitting, went on a retreat, took courses, read books, practiced mindful eating and exercise, learned some great new practices, and taught several mindfulness courses. I learned a lot about how to cultivate a more mindful life, and I’d like to encourage you to try it this year. Why? A few good reasons. Read the full thing

Filter Out the Noise

It can seem like our lives are filled with busyness, noise, distractions, and often meaningless activities. What if we could filter out all that noise, and focus on the meaningful? What if we could find stillness instead of constant distraction? I believe that most of us have that power. In my experience, most of the noise is there by choice, but we’ve fallen into patterns over the years and it can seem like we’re not able to change them. Let’s talk about ways to filter out the noise, then how to find stillness and meaning. Read the full thing

5 Tips For When You Have Too Much to Do

Too much to do, not enough time. This is a perpetual problem for a lot of people, but it seems to be especially pronounced during the holidays. With holiday events, shopping, travel, family visiting … things tend to pile on top of our already busy lives. But no matter what time of year it is, the problem is the same: our list of tasks is neverending, and our days are too short. How can we deal with this in a sane way? I’ll offer five suggestions that work for me. Read the full thing